Some of us were really affected by the recent death of Whitney Houston; others, not so much. She was a phenomenal singer who left us with an outstanding collection of music and I enjoyed the time that she spent with us.
She was not perfect, as none of us are, but, in my opinion, she was definitely special; and that is all I will say about that. Her death had me thinking about my own mortality and my legacy, my children. I thought of Bobbi Kristina and my heart breaks for her. Surely, she is not the only child who has lost a parent at a young age and I pray that she gets the love and support that she needs to get through this very difficult period of her life.
I had been thinking, also, about the wife of the former NFL player who had a possible stroke or brain aneurysm and passed away suddenly at the age of 29, leaving behind a 4 month old as well as one other young child.
I had begun to wonder, how do we prepare our children for our passing? Do we really prepare them or do we just avoid the subject? Granted, it is a very difficult subject for many of us but it is after all, inevitable. My daughters, who are teens, told me that they would not, could not handle it if something were to happen to me. That disturbs me more than anything. I certainly do not want them to break down and become incapacitated. I want them to continue to live, to succeed and to be brilliant. I want them to be representatives of me. Without having too much discussion, I need to let my children know that they must be strong and continue on, remembering that I am forever a part of them. When do you think you should talk with your children about this very sensitive subject? What would you, do you say?
We have had very frank and open death talks. I'm a nurse so the death stuff and morbid stuff doesn't bother me. Talking about death is easy and if they have questions I answer them. Would I bring up the 'if mommy dies' talk, no. They do know that if anything happens to me that they will be taken care of by people that love them. That's what is important that they understand, to me anyway.
ReplyDeleteHi insomnia, thanks for responding. I truly appreciate your feedback. What you wrote makes so much sense to me. What I get from it is that it is important that we set up arrangements for our children, just in case. That might be more important than the discussion with our children. Thanks!!
DeleteThis also probably depends on their age too. The younger they are they may get scared or shaken up and start thinking about a parent dying. The older the child, the better a grasp they can get on the concept of death and what a parent wishes. It's about maturity I think, too.
Deletein our house heaven is the goal.....so we talk about living a life that will get us there whenever that time comes...which means always be the best you can..and always do the right thing...then no fears..only hope.
ReplyDeletei am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.
Thanks,momto8. Living the best life you can while you can is a great conversation to have with your children.
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ReplyDeleteI think kids above the age of 5 or 6 can certainly understand concepts like death. I would definitely recommend preparing kids in some way. Last week I attended a funeral of a mom who died leaving 9 kids behind. The youngest was a month old. It was tragic in every sense.
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http://coziecorner.blogspot.com
Hi! Stopping in to invite you to join us at the Clever Chicks Blog Hop this week!
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I hope to see you there!
Cheers!
Kathy
The Chicken Chick