Sunday, January 22, 2012

This has been an interesting week, to say the least! My great nephew, who has been having difficulty at home and at school came to stay with us. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. I am one of those who like to help when I can and I like to see things to the end. It will take some time to get over the fact that I, we could not reach this child. Now, it seems that he has sealed his fate. As we are all out of options, he will be sent to Job Corps where we pray he can turn his life around and become the responsible, successful, mature and respected man that we expect.

This generation is so very different than the one in which I grew up. We respected our parents, our elders. We listened to them; even sought their advice sometimes and listened to what they had to say, without talking back, even when we didn't agree. We didn't like all the decisions that were made for us but we didn't revolt like these children do today. My parents weren't super strict but I knew what was expected of me and I NEVER challenged my parents. Hey, I liked living. I sometimes resented that my parents did not talk to me and explain why they made the decisions they did for me; or I didn't like that they didn't explain to me how and why they did things, period. Now, I talk to my children more. I try to explain to them why I make the decisions that I do. I can see that that is not always the best way to go, either. Even in trying to explain to teenagers, they still don't think that parents know best.

How about you? Do you recognize how this generation is different from yours growing up? What are some of the issues you deal with or that you have witnessed from family or friends? How has it been dealt with? What are some of your success stories? I'd love to read them...

41 comments:

  1. " I NEVER challenged my parents. Hey, I liked living."

    -Are you my long lost sister? LOL I could have written that very line myself.

    "How about you? Do you recognize how this generation is different from yours growing up? What are some of the issues you deal with or that you have witnessed from family or friends? How has it been dealt with? "

    - I definitely do recognize it. We grew up in an Era where children didn't dare talk back to their parents for the risk of the consequences. I didn't dare even mutter under my breath or my mama would knock my head off. The only success stories I have are my children. I am so very proud of them and it tells me I did at least one right thing in my life lol

    DesareƬ

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  3. This is a whole new era for sure. When I was growing up you had two choices, listen or lose some teeth. lol....and in that order.

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  4. Hey Desarei and Beauty! We can laugh about it now, but I know what you mean. I don't know about you, but my mom's shoe could find me around a corner, if I thought about getting smart!! LOL!!

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  5. Abs. true... this generation is so difficult to understand at times. Either we run to keep up or get left behind.

    your newest follwer from the hop. you can find me at http://purplechronicle.blogspot.com

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    1. Hi Kajal, I know I'm tired of running to keep up but I feel I have to. I'm following you, now, thanks!

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  6. I believe things have changed a lot. Moms are expected to work outside the home now, make more money & a lot of people are in debt. In turn, they are stressed, which puts a strain on the kids. A lot don't get the attention they use to. We are all living in a facepaced society. If we took time to slow down, maybe the kids would to. This is just my opinion and I do get some Mom's need to work. It's hard financially now adays to stay home. I just am blessed I get to work from home. It's hard taking someone elses child in to. I've done that. It turns your world upside down but, atleast you tried. :D It's up to him now. New follower from tattletale blog hop. I would love a follow back at http://hotsavinmama.com & my other site that's listed is: http://foreverateenonline.blogspot.com.

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    1. Well, I agree with your opinion. It is difficult having children and giving them the time that they need, but somehow we have to make it happen or suffer the consequences. Thanks, following you on hotsavinmama.com. Like your site!

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  7. You are soo right about growing upback in the days. It made us better people. The world has turned into something else, kids revolt,shout and even fight their parents. And some parents let them carry on with that sort of behaviour and not putting a stop to it when the child is changing. Guess what, am raising my kids the same way i was raised and i pray to God the move in the right way. Sorry about your nephew, pray for him, there is nothing God can not do.

    following you back from exposure 99% blog hop. love your blog.

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    1. And, unfortunately, if we reprimand our children in public, we are looked at like we are bad people. I certainly do not advocate beating your child and other inhumane acts but we certainly can't let our children do whatever they want, whenever they want. Thanks for the follow!

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  8. Things are very different! My husband and I often comment on how our own children are being raised in comparison of our childhoods. It is a whole different world now! I would like to pass the versatile blogger award onto you! I enjoy your posts and appreciate your following:)

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  9. Your newest follower from the Blog hop over on Southern Belle. I can even see the differences in the generation just by looking at my boyfriend and his siblings who are ten years younger then him. They act so completely different than me or him would have acted.

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  10. New follower here :) http://www.debbie-myemptynest.blogspot.com/

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  11. Following you back from the blog hop. Have a great weekend.

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  12. For awhile I tried hard to explain and explain. Like talking to the wall. They still don't like my answers or explanations. Unless it's the answer they want to hear. So I quit explaining and went back to basics, the generation of mom and grandmom and I tell them no. Flat out, no explanation. I get the same response.
    I don't know why some kids cannot be fixed and why some kids are good to start with. Parents, environment, a mix of both?

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    1. I'm like you, I went back to the old way of just telling them what they need to do... no explanations. And... I definitely think that it is the fault of both parents and environment. Thanks for your thoughts!

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  13. Following you back from the hop!

    Ashley
    www.modernmommymagic.blogspot.com

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  14. Thanks for joining us at welcome to the weekend hop :)

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  15. Following you from the hop! Hope you'll stop on by for a visit :)

    - Jessica
    http://igiveugetgiveaways.com

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  16. Following you from the hop. You know, that is a tough question. For me, I pulled my kids out of school and homeschooled the oldest two through 7th grade. To set the foundation. I am still homeschooling my middle (she is only 5th grade). Not so much to shelter them, we participate in a lot, but to be around to teach them. It is a hard generation for them to grow up in unfortunately :( -Kim (check me out if you get a chance) http://bbunchmama.blogspot.com

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    1. Hey Kim, I'm like you. I homeschooled my children until high school, first and then this year let my 7th grader go to school and kept the 3 younger ones at home. Big mistake. I am now going back to homeschooling them until high school It's a bit better, for me at least. I feel they have a bit more foundation at that time, even though it seems my children still stick out because their morals and values are different. Thanks, for following! I am now following you!

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  17. Generational difference can cause so many problems. My children are 2 and 3 months and I can see it when we are with my in-laws. My 2 yo whines when two things are happening 1. she is tired 2. she is hungry. Last time we were at my in-laws (where she will NOT nap) a meltdown was starting and my father-in-law looks at her and says, "Stop whining, you have nothing to be whining about." And the whole line pops in my head - stop ____ or I will give you something to ___ about. So different now. I don't coddle the whining and I do tell her to stop whining and tell me what she needs, but it is just seeing the differences is action. And of course she is 2 so this behavior should be expected.

    Thank you for linking up at Touch of Home Learning for our Fun with Friends Friday. We are going to play again this week for our Groundhog Theme week.

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    1. Hey Sara, lol, I remember that old line too. Talk about memories! Thanks for visiting!

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  18. I'm a new follower from the Sunday Blog Hop. And you are right, completely different! Young people today feel entitled and feel like the rules aren't made for them. They don't really care what type of impression they make on people, and it's really unfortunate. Although it's making me want to work harder to raise my boys with a sense of respect for themselves and others. I want them to have manners, a strong work ethic and a great sense of humor! Here's to hoping!
    Kim
    http://www.mytwintasticlife.com/

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  19. Thanks for the visit, follow, and comments! I have and am trying to raise my children differently, also. Hopefully, it will pay off.

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  20. I don't know about the whole generation, but my children seem to be doing fine in the respect and listening department. I'm always surprised when my 15, 16 17 20 year old still come to me for advice and talk about their plans for life (especially as the younger two are boys... I didn't think boys could talk that much at all, much less to their MOM!:)

    I don't know what the problem is in general, I think that in some cases, parents are just coached throughout their kids life "wait until their teens... then they'll be MONSTERS!" at least I was told this for years and years... until my oldest was 18 and still showing no signs of rebellion. Then people just told me that my kids must be 'weird'. Thank goodness they are!

    That being said, sometimes even in the best situation, kids/teens/adults just have issues. There may be underlying problems that we can't see. My only peeve with people blaming 'this generation' is that they don't realize that ALL generations had their rebellions, all AGES have their fits, their moods and whatnot. In this day and age, the world has become SO SMALL through the internet and media, I think we're all just seeing a lot more of what is out there than we ever did before.

    I think I gave more than my two cents... sorry about that!:)

    I just meant to stop by for a quick "hey, I found you through the 99% blog hop:)

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  21. Wow Byn! Well spoken! I agree with you 100 & 50%! My children are the same way with me. We talk about EVERYTHING! I have the philosophy that if they don't hear it from me, they will probably receive the wrong information from some of their so-called friends. The very worst thing I can say about my children is that they may be a little too outspoken sometimes but they dare not rebel! I think that parents have to begin the rules and discipline early in life. Sometimes parents think it's "cute" when a two year old talks back or says/does something disrespectful and they laugh. But even at that age, children have to learn limits and boundaries and just firmly and seriously telling them no and stop goes a long way. Thanks for stopping by!

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  22. Hi. Just wanted to stop by and say that and thanks for the connect over at my blog. By the way, this topic is one that every parent today needs to talk about. I totally agree with how things were different growing up. I could never understand why my cousins and their moms seemed to be more of girlfriends instead of mom and daughter. My mom always said that she wasn't my friend and that she was my mom. Now that I'm a mom myself we will always be mom and daughter but I can now say she's my friend. You have to teach a child how to be the young man or lady that they are supposed to be first then when they become that you can talk friendships and I agree communication is a must with our kids. I explain things also. I'm sorry things didn't work out for you and your nephew but you are a great aunt for taking him in and trying to help him. {New follower}

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  23. NO!!! I just tried to post a long (probably too long!) comment and I think the internet ate it:( Dang. Well, I'm following now... I only have 5 kids, though:)

    I am definitely raising my children differently than I was raised and hopefully am improving in some ways ever day!

    Great blog, I am definitely going to keep up with you. I love it when blog hops help me find someone I really think I can connect with!

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  24. These kids are definitely from a different generation. I can't remember how many times I have said, you are so lucky I am not your grandmother. I would have never thought about talking back to my mother or father or disrespecting them. I knew my boundaries. A lot of these kids don't anymore.

    I am a new follower from the Get Connected Tuesday Hop. I would love for you to visit Saving and Sharing It and follow back.

    Katie
    http://www.savingandsharingit.blogspot.com

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  25. I think 'Because I told you so' doesn't work anymore. This generation needs almost everything explained. I'm a mom of 2 twins and a toddler who just started blogging. I'm following your site and it would be great if you could take a look at mine sometime. - http://mercymathews.blogspot.in/

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  26. Yes there are a complete difference in the current set of teens than the ones that I grew up with - maybe some of the attitudes we get from them is because we feel the need to explain rather than for them to just accept our choices. I am sorry that you were unable to reach your nephew - nothing is harder than wanting to help and then realizing that you can't, stepping back and knowing that they are going to have some hard knocks before life {hopefully} straightens out for them.
    I started following your blog - come and see my struggles with 7 (young) kids as well and the crafty projects I create to escape.
    http://permanentkisses.blogspot.com/
    ~Amy

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  27. Great post! This generation is very different! Hopefully they will get it together...

    ~Mrs. Delightful
    ourdelightfulhome.blogspot.com

    PS: I am your newest follower!

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  28. I am trying to raise my children to be as close to the ones of the generation before mine, or maybe even mine (but without being hardly raised like I was!). Which is hard considering how poorly it's looked down on to actually expect things from your kids! Hmmm, nope, I expect them not to be lazy or brats who think they can get away with anything and everything. That probably makes me somewhat of a mean/harsh mommy. But I guess it is what it is.

    Btw, I am your newest follower from the Exposure 99% weekday hop.

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  29. Its so hard when we reach out to help someone and its rejected or doesn't work out, our feelings and hearts hurt. You were really kind to try to help. I'm following you-I found you on Misadventures in Motherhood if you would please follow back, Natalie @ http://bridgetsdaughter5.blogspots.com or http://inmygarden-daisy.blogspot.com Thank You

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  30. The blog and comments are interesting! Found your blog on Cafe Mom and am now following. If you want to follow back: http://trendymomreviews.blogspot.com

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