Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Guiding our children
I remember when I was growing up, I said, "I'm not going to treat my children like this," referring to the way my mom and dad treated me. It was my belief that the way they were raising me was wrong. It was the "do as I say," mentality in my home. There was no explanation and we dare not ask why. As an adult and mother, I now understand "why." The older I become and the more I engage with my children and other children, I know that my parents were dead on correct. There was no way, with our limited experience as children, that we, as children, could understand why they made the decisions they did and required us to do the things that they demanded. With my older children, and especially my oldest, I tried explaning the reasons why I make the decisions that I do. They still never understand. In their mind, it is that I am being unfair. I gave my oldest plenty of room to grow and make his own mistakes but I realize that the mistakes he made were my mistakes as well. With my younger children, I have become more like my mom; "do as I say." Children don't understand that if we make a mistake, we are more apt to be able to correct it than they would. I realize that as parents, we have to stand strong and firm in the decisions that we make. It is highly likely that we are correct in our assessment of the situation and therefore, we must patiently continue to guide our children in the direction that will lead them to a future as successful adults who are honorable and respectable.