Some of us were really affected by the recent death of Whitney Houston; others, not so much. She was a phenomenal singer who left us with an outstanding collection of music and I enjoyed the time that she spent with us.
     She was not perfect, as none of us are, but, in my opinion, she was definitely special; and that is all I will say about that. Her death had me thinking about my own mortality and my legacy, my children. I thought of Bobbi Kristina and my heart breaks for her. Surely, she is not the only child who has lost a parent at a young age and I pray that she gets the love and support that she needs to get through this very difficult period of her life.
    I had been thinking, also, about the wife of the former NFL player who had a possible stroke or brain aneurysm and passed away suddenly at the age of 29, leaving behind a 4 month old as well as one other young child. 
    I had begun to wonder, how do we prepare our children for our passing? Do we really prepare them or do we just avoid the subject? Granted, it is a very difficult subject for many of us but it is after all, inevitable. My daughters, who are teens, told me that they would not, could not handle it if something were to happen to me. That disturbs me more than anything. I certainly do not want them to break down and become incapacitated. I want them to continue to live, to succeed and to be brilliant. I want them to be representatives of me. Without having too much discussion, I need to let my children know that they must be strong and continue on, remembering that I am forever a part of them. When do you think you should talk with your children about this very sensitive subject? What would you, do you say?

This has been an interesting week, to say the least! My great nephew, who has been having difficulty at home and at school came to stay with us. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. I am one of those who like to help when I can and I like to see things to the end. It will take some time to get over the fact that I, we could not reach this child. Now, it seems that he has sealed his fate. As we are all out of options, he will be sent to Job Corps where we pray he can turn his life around and become the responsible, successful, mature and respected man that we expect.

This generation is so very different than the one in which I grew up. We respected our parents, our elders. We listened to them; even sought their advice sometimes and listened to what they had to say, without talking back, even when we didn't agree. We didn't like all the decisions that were made for us but we didn't revolt like these children do today. My parents weren't super strict but I knew what was expected of me and I NEVER challenged my parents. Hey, I liked living. I sometimes resented that my parents did not talk to me and explain why they made the decisions they did for me; or I didn't like that they didn't explain to me how and why they did things, period. Now, I talk to my children more. I try to explain to them why I make the decisions that I do. I can see that that is not always the best way to go, either. Even in trying to explain to teenagers, they still don't think that parents know best.

How about you? Do you recognize how this generation is different from yours growing up? What are some of the issues you deal with or that you have witnessed from family or friends? How has it been dealt with? What are some of your success stories? I'd love to read them...

 Sending out a heart felt thanks to fellow blogger Carolina at  http://carolbalocka.blogspot.com/  for giving me the Liebster Award. Now it is my turn to choose 5 wonderful blogs to receive this award. My picks are below and my understanding of the rules for receiving this award are as follows:

1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.

2. Reveal your top 5 picks for the award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

3. Post the award on your blog.

4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the blogshere – other bloggers.

5. Hope your recipients pass the award to their 5 favorite blogs to keep the love flowing

The awardees are:

http://survivingmadness.blogspot.com
http://hearmyhands.blogspot.com
http://myroadtosavings.blogspot.com
http://windycitymama.blogspot.com
http://njhousewife.blogspot.com

I am the type of mom who teachers say they want but am also the one who they wish they could get to be quiet and leave them alone. I constantly question their methods and follow up to make certain they are engaging the students in effective learning lessons and teaching methods. You won't find me apologizing; the children's best interest is at hand. I've not had to storm into a school as of yet, although I have been tempted to. I will, however, show up at  every school meeting and ask for additional ones, if necessary, so that a teacher can explain the intended outcome or goal of his or her actions in the classroom. It certainly puts them on notice that they are being watched. My 7th grader came home with an assignment from her teacher. Write 100 lines of "I will pay attention when my classmates are speaking." My daughter stated that it's the same group of children every day who makes the noise and he does not punish them separately from the rest of the class. I challenged the teacher in an email; "how is this helping students' learning and the environment in the classroom?" He replied that after his many years of teaching, it does help. The next day, I asked my daughter if the students behaved any better in the classroom. Of course they didn't. Neither did they behave any differently the day after that, or any day after that. Are you kidding me!? Suffice it to say, I never let my daughter complete such mediocrity. How about you? If you have school aged children, have you ever experienced an incident where the teacher gives assignments that have no basis for teaching anything of worth to the students?

Brainless, you may wonder? We are back to our regularly scheduled program (smile). And, if I'm not brainless, then I must be crazy. My schedule is actually lighter than it used to be a year or two ago and prior to. Just imagine, I used to take my children to dance class and spend 3 hours there, and sometimes it would be right after we had just come from a 90 minute gymnastics class. My husband would wonder why my van had crumbs scattered about. It's difficult to explain how it just didn't seem right to make my children stand on the side of the road to eat their snacks (hehehe), not to mention we are usually in a hurry, anyway. So, my oldest went back to college on Monday and that leaves me with 6. Well, one gone but he actually may have been my biggest help. I still homeschool 3 and 3 are away at school. 2 of the 3 are in school from 8am until 5pm; longer than most work days, right? When some of the other mommy bloggers mentioned how their little ones were in bed by 7pm, I almost passed out from the excitement of just imagining the peace. I don't think we have ever managed to do that. My littlest ones are in bed by 9pm on a good night. But, because of the long school days and the extracurricular activities; music lessons, dance lessons, it is usually later. Since this is just the beginning, I have to brace myself for what is to come; meetings, competitions, additional lessons, volunteer time, additional appointments, and that's just their schedule! I haven't gotten to my own commitments, yet. Just wait and read... you'll soon understand why I'm brainless.

End of the school break is near. Trying to get everyone back on schedule and in the frame of mind to finish out this semester on a good note. To help achieve this, we hung out at the mall and just relaxed. Now to get them back into their regular sleeping pattern. Monday is just a day or so away!! I try not to stress over them not getting enough sleep during the night. How much sleep do your little ones get?

Guiding our children

I remember when I was growing up, I said, "I'm not going to treat my children like this," referring to the way my mom and dad treated me. It was my belief that the way they were raising me was wrong. It was the "do as I say," mentality in my home. There was no explanation and we dare not ask why. As an adult and mother, I now understand "why." The older I become and the more I engage with my children and other children, I know that my parents were dead on correct. There was no way, with our limited experience as children, that we, as children, could understand why they made the decisions they did and required us to do the things that they demanded. With my older children, and especially my oldest, I tried explaning the reasons why I make the decisions that I do. They still never understand. In their mind, it is that I am being unfair. I gave my oldest plenty of room to grow and make his own mistakes but I realize that the mistakes he made were my mistakes as well. With my younger children, I have become more like my mom; "do as I say." Children don't understand that if we make a mistake, we are more apt to be able to correct it than they would. I realize that as parents, we have to stand strong and firm in the decisions that we make. It is highly likely that we are correct in our assessment of the situation and therefore, we must patiently continue to guide our children in the direction that will lead them to a future as successful adults who are honorable and respectable.